2.) killed myself - obviously unless I invented a robot to do my work for me
3.) feed my fish - I'll do it after I finish this post
4.) filled my tires with air - My car has been yelling at me and I keep forgetting
5.) homework - Don't have any LEGIT!
6.) made a wish - it's not 11:11 duh!
7.) drunk soda - well yeah whatev
8.) won a contest - didn't happen